What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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