we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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