He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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