she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This toilet bowl is my home.
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