Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize