Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
