i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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