Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
