I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
