How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
