WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
