omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You can't special order awesome
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
