Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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