You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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