the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
