If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
