So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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