she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
