Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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