Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You're a waste of cheezeits
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
