is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
