Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
