I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
