PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
