What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
