youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
