my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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