At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
