I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize