Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
