Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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