just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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