Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
