The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
