Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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