Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So vagazzling was a success
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
