omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize