i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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