he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
