I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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