I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
