I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
