we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it glows. i had to have it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
