Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
