I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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