hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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