I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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