i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have aggressive nipples.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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