My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
