shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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