I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
