that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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