My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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