he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
