its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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