It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
