I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
