Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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