Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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