i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
