Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
