i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
