u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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