I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
