don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize