like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
where does the pee come out of this thing
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
