That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
