I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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