Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
