you would pick up someone in the library
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
