I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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