You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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