He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can I color on your dick again?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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