did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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